keep you warm

This past weekend I attended my grandmother’s funeral. It entailed almost 3o hours of driving in three days and very little sleep. But I’m glad I went. Everything seems messy. And yet, wonderful somehow? But not really in a noticeable way. I suppose I just feel pretty happy. Things are going the way that I want them too, even if only for the briefest of moments. I honestly didn’t have much to say, although I really should. Here are some things I wrote recently…I have a couple more, but I think they’re in the car, which would require far to much effort right now. Perhaps tomorrow.

incomplete.

and I took the day off
to watch the birds migrate
waste the day away
spent the night in a hideout
found out you knew about
moved to pretend I was going on vacation
the cold of a new climate
made my lungs ache
cut my skin like a knife
knuckles white
sun bleached snow for miles
blinding me from what little I can see
there’s not much to see
anyway
one more cup of coffee
just to feel my heart beat

open.

I wanted to be mysterious
so I kept my mouth shut
you wanted to hear what
I wasn’t saying
so you took a crowbar
to my teeth
metal and bone
tore the words from my lips
felt the prying of your fingertips
the sound of my voice was
but a whisper from misuse
and I still struggled to
be honest