let’s get along famously

this has been a decidedly rough season. i spend most of my time just hoping that my phone will ring and the voice on the other side will deliver good news. i’ve been hopeful for two months but the job hunt has been fruitless thus far. i’m so behind in rent. i don’t think b would through me to the streets but things have been surprising lately.

it’s rather cold in kansas city. a bitter sort of cold that reminds me of being home. when we would drag every coat from the closet so we could smoke one cigarette. shoes two sizes too big to wear two or more pairs of socks. baggy hats and exposed fingers. we talked a lot to ignore the cold. our conversation duly noted by the warm disruption to the cold air. huddled in circles. i remember when we started to go into the parking garage. through the underground tunnel and up into the glowing garage with the cars that warmed in minutes as opposed to hours like ours. we could stay in there forever, the wind would never defeat the walls. we hung around in the stairwells like the bad kids that never did anything wrong.

in kansas city they’re keeping track of how long the snow is on the ground. i believe the record of days straight is 44. right now we’re at 16 (17 if you count the final few hours of christmas eve). somewhere minneapolis is laughing at us. it’s bizarre. truly. we watch the news in awe as they cancel schools left and right when it snowed days ago or hasn’t even begun to snow yet. the roads still aren’t plowed (which, personally, i think they need to keep a count of how long they can go without doing it).

i was reading an article the other day (yesterday, perhaps?) and there were photographs from some of the new years parties that recently occurred. the photos were not what caught my eye. the headline for the photos and poorly written accompanying article was “the last party of the decade.” how strange. we talk about it but then it actually strikes you. and when it sinks it, well, it’s still strange. i’m an 8o’s baby. 87, so it’s not as though i actually remember much of it but it’s still attached to by birth date. my roommate was born in 9o and we all still talk about how young she is. i think one of my biggest fears is still that i’ll wake up and realize i wasted my youth. there is still time, there is still time.

time to go.